Lessons Learned From My Maternal Grandmothers

 

I was very blessed to know both of my maternal great grandmothers, one of them even came to live with us for a while.  I remember going to her sweet little apartment that she shared with her sister at the time and how she would insist on fixing me a snack as soon as I arrived – saltine crackers and a can of Vienna sausages laid out on a little plate.  I also fondly remember how she would take my hand in hers and tell me “your hands are so warm, they’re warm as toast”.  She was a very special lady.

 

My maternal great grandmother

In her simple tiny kitchen always wearing an apron (1967)

My other maternal great grandmother was also very special to me and we were pen pals from the time I could write a letter until she died just after my freshman year of college.  We would visit her about once a year at her little one bedroom home she and my great grandfather purchased as their retirement home.  Although their home was tiny, perfect for the two of them, it was situated on a good sized lot where they had a larger vegetable garden, a few fruit trees and berry bushes and a chicken coop.  It had a nice patch of lawn with a clothesline and where they would set their lawn chairs up in the shade to sit and rest after their chores were done.  It was the sweetest little home.

My other maternal great grandmother

My great grandparents in their backyard (1971)

The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree with me as far as my great grandmother and her daughter, my maternal grandmother.  She and I were also pen pals and we swapped letters from the time I was in high school until she died when I was in my mid thirties.  Often our letters would include recipes, either handwritten on an index card or clipped from a newspaper or magazine, as well as a rundown of our latest happenings.  She and I both shared a love of cooking, baking and all things kitchen related, the same as her mother, my great grandmother.

 

My maternal grandmother

Both of these women were very practical when it came to home management and life management as well.  I remember when we cleared out the house after my great grandmother passed away in preparation of putting it up for sale that it was, well to simply put it, easy.  We were there for a few days and it was pretty much done.  She didn’t keep a lot of stuff in her home, only what she used and needed to have for her every day living.

 

She kept a pantry in her utility room where she stocked extra groceries and cleaning supplies so she wouldn’t need to go out in inclement weather in the winter time.  She only had a washing machine and my great grandfather had installed two lines across the length of the room so she could hang the washing up in there to dry during the winter.

 

She always wore an apron when she cooked and cleaned the house or worked outside in the yard to protect her clothes.  She always cooked from scratch, healthy whole food meals and desserts, there was nothing processed or pre-prepared in her cupboards or refrigerator.  She shopped with a carefully crafted list and walked to the corner market and the drug store in that same strip once a week to pick up what she needed.  In her kitchen she only kept enough dishes, pots and pans and bake ware to meet her needs and an occasional guest or two.  The majority of that kitchen came home with me and I still use a lot of those things today.

 

My grandmother didn't keep a lot of "fancy" items so
I remember how special it felt when she gave this to me

When my grandparents got ready to retire they downsized into a travel trailer.  In the year preceding that they loaded up their car with certain items they wanted to pass down to their children and grandchildren and made visits to our homes to hand it all out.  We were told this was our inheritance so don’t expect to receive anything else.  The items they gave us were very practical.  My inheritance was their microwave oven, a framed print and a cut crystal bowl.  At that time I ended up giving away the microwave to a friend because I didn’t need it.  I just recently donated the print to the thrift store, but I still have the bowl and I do plan to keep it.

 

So very true

For quite a while my grandparents traveled and every summer they came to stay a couple of weeks here in Boise to visit family and then head off again.  We would sit and visit and my grandmother would give me her heartfelt advice.  She especially liked to share her thoughts on home economy, spending money and more importantly saving it and making it grow too.  A lot of those principles I have used and still do.

 

I think I know where I get it from

That practicality allowed all of them to live a good life with comfort and security in their retirement years.  They lived very simply and enjoyed every day they had left to live to the best of their abilities.  I admired them all greatly and how I wish I could have just one more visit, one more conversation with them.  With my great grandparents I learned by watching, with my grandparents I learned by listening.  They were remarkable people and I miss them very much.  If I am sentimental about anything it is the people in my life, not the stuff they left behind.

 

My great grandmother's pot is so very useful

When my maternal great grandparents and grandparents passed away none of them left behind any large estates.  There were no giant sums of money to inherit and nothing for anyone to fight over either, not that it didn’t stop some from trying.  I think there was an assumption that if they were living so well they must have a bunch of cash somewhere.  The truth is they had plenty to live comfortably and take care of their final expenses once they died and that was it.  That was enough.

 

Last year's bumper crop

They had it all pretty much written down and organized too.  They were all planners and they took care of their own business.  When they passed they didn’t leave us with a huge burden to deal with, just a little bit of clean up.  Because the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree my goal is to do things the same way they did.  I want to clear away and give away the things that I will no longer need, want or use, much like they did.  When I do kick the bucket I want it to be as easy on those I leave behind as I possibly can.  It is the best legacy I can hand down to my heirs, in my opinion.