Nothing
is more important to our overall safety and wellbeing than to protect our
mental health and sometimes we need some help to maintain that. There is absolutely no shame in that
whatsoever. I want to make that abundantly
clear. It doesn’t make us weak to reach
out and ask for professional help, in fact, quite the opposite is true. By seeking help you are acknowledging how
strong you are by recognizing when you are in over your head. We wouldn’t perform our own surgeries or a
tooth extraction. No, we would go to the
doctor or dentist for that type of care, right? So no one should ever feel that it is up to
them to take care of their mental health on their own either.
I have
shared with you lately that we have been dealing with a toxic co-worker and the
damage that has been done by this person is immense. I personally have never dealt with someone
this extreme and while I was able to stave off a lot of the abuse she was dishing
out, unfortunately I had to witness a lot of the damage done to my co-workers,
especially the aftermath of emotions, confusion and utter disbelief. That takes its own kind of toll on a person,
especially if you happen to have even an ounce of empathy for your fellow
humans.
Because
I have been in therapy the entire time I’ve held this job I had the benefit of
dealing with this stuff from the get go and I had the tools to deal with most
of this crap. However, things began to
escalate back in August as this person became much more aggressive and manipulative
making her far more abusive, not to just one at a time as in the past, but to
all of us at once. She was out of
control. Thankfully, my therapist was
able to advise me on what to do and helped me get the ball rolling as far as
putting an end to the abuse.
And! Because I keep a daily journal, and have been
for four years now, I was able to go back through past journals and pull out
dates, names and details to write up a fourteen page document to back up what I
was reporting when I ended up meeting with our HR department. My own human resources background came in
clutch as well as did my BFF’s professional credentials along with my therapist. It was definitely a combined effort. Needless to say, when I showed up at HR I had
the goods.
Journaling
didn’t just help me to document the bullshit, but it was super beneficial in
that I was able to write it all down and get it out of my head so I didn’t’
ruminate on it the entire time. Between
my journaling and therapy sessions I was able to keep my own emotions in check
and see things with clarity and that allowed me to be the voice of reason and
credibility while also being able to be supportive of my fellow abused co-workers.
I
recognize that this toxic co-worker has issues and that she needs to own
that. I do not take any responsibility for
her abusive behavior. She is on her
own. I also have the tools to deal with
this situation and do or say the things I need to in order to protect myself. With coaching from my therapist I was
completely prepared when the toxic one attempted to pick a fight with me
(ironically the same day as my appointment with HR) and things came to a
head. I was able to use these tools which
netted the expected results. It worked! I was then able to go to my meeting and present
myself in a professional and pragmatic manner.
My credibility was not even questioned, especially when I presented my
detailed and well composed documentation to further support my claims.
Regardless
of whether you are dealing with abuse, grief, insecurity and worry or whatever,
it doesn’t matter. If you were in pain
you would go to the doctor for help. It
you are in emotional pain seek help for that as well. I have far more clarity and understanding of
so much I have experienced in my life and the tools to go forward to enjoy a
far better quality of life in the future.
It is well worth it!
