Please Protect Your Mental Health

 

Nothing is more important to our overall safety and wellbeing than to protect our mental health and sometimes we need some help to maintain that.  There is absolutely no shame in that whatsoever.  I want to make that abundantly clear.  It doesn’t make us weak to reach out and ask for professional help, in fact, quite the opposite is true.  By seeking help you are acknowledging how strong you are by recognizing when you are in over your head.  We wouldn’t perform our own surgeries or a tooth extraction.  No, we would go to the doctor or dentist for that type of care, right?  So no one should ever feel that it is up to them to take care of their mental health on their own either.

 

I have shared with you lately that we have been dealing with a toxic co-worker and the damage that has been done by this person is immense.  I personally have never dealt with someone this extreme and while I was able to stave off a lot of the abuse she was dishing out, unfortunately I had to witness a lot of the damage done to my co-workers, especially the aftermath of emotions, confusion and utter disbelief.  That takes its own kind of toll on a person, especially if you happen to have even an ounce of empathy for your fellow humans.

 

Because I have been in therapy the entire time I’ve held this job I had the benefit of dealing with this stuff from the get go and I had the tools to deal with most of this crap.  However, things began to escalate back in August as this person became much more aggressive and manipulative making her far more abusive, not to just one at a time as in the past, but to all of us at once.  She was out of control.  Thankfully, my therapist was able to advise me on what to do and helped me get the ball rolling as far as putting an end to the abuse.

 

And!  Because I keep a daily journal, and have been for four years now, I was able to go back through past journals and pull out dates, names and details to write up a fourteen page document to back up what I was reporting when I ended up meeting with our HR department.  My own human resources background came in clutch as well as did my BFF’s professional credentials along with my therapist.  It was definitely a combined effort.  Needless to say, when I showed up at HR I had the goods.

 

Journaling didn’t just help me to document the bullshit, but it was super beneficial in that I was able to write it all down and get it out of my head so I didn’t’ ruminate on it the entire time.  Between my journaling and therapy sessions I was able to keep my own emotions in check and see things with clarity and that allowed me to be the voice of reason and credibility while also being able to be supportive of my fellow abused co-workers.

 

I recognize that this toxic co-worker has issues and that she needs to own that.  I do not take any responsibility for her abusive behavior.  She is on her own.  I also have the tools to deal with this situation and do or say the things I need to in order to protect myself.  With coaching from my therapist I was completely prepared when the toxic one attempted to pick a fight with me (ironically the same day as my appointment with HR) and things came to a head.  I was able to use these tools which netted the expected results.  It worked!  I was then able to go to my meeting and present myself in a professional and pragmatic manner.  My credibility was not even questioned, especially when I presented my detailed and well composed documentation to further support my claims.

 

Regardless of whether you are dealing with abuse, grief, insecurity and worry or whatever, it doesn’t matter.  If you were in pain you would go to the doctor for help.  It you are in emotional pain seek help for that as well.  I have far more clarity and understanding of so much I have experienced in my life and the tools to go forward to enjoy a far better quality of life in the future.  It is well worth it!