Deciding and planning for what will happen to us as we get older can be a very daunting task. When you look at elder care on the whole it can truly feel overwhelming making it difficult to even know where to begin, especially as none of us can predict the future. We don’t truly know what might happen to us during the aging process. Sometimes things happen just out of the blue – stroke, heart attack, illness, a cancer diagnosis, a fall, even dementia. How do we adequately prepare for the “what ifs” that await us?
At some point in our lives we are going to need some assistance. It may be simple things like help with yard work or housekeeping. It may be on a grander scale requiring the sale of a house and moving into an assisted living environment or even a residential facility. At some point we may need help in making our every day decisions for us. Who will act on our behalf?
In Idaho we have the Idaho Commission On Aging which has a plethora of resources to guide and help people with a lot of these concerns. Many senior centers, like the one I work at, offer workshops and assistance with resources as well. There is a lot of information out there to help get you started. But we have to take the steps and actually get started.
The time to begin working on this is now, before you need to, rather than waiting until you have to do it. For many seniors, by the time they realize they need help, it is too late and their dementia has rendered them incapable of making the sound decisions they could’ve made for themselves a few years earlier.
The reason I bring this up is because exploitation of our aging population is rampant. Many are bilked out of their life savings and even their homes and property and not just by some random scammer taking advantage of them. Sadly, it often happens by “trusted” family members, even friends. Unfortunately I have witnessed this firsthand and it sickens me to no end at how a person’s child or children will scour the house removing anything and everything of value and then leave their parent to sit in a nursing home until they die so they can inherit whatever is left. And even sadder, those parents are left alone. Their children and grandchildren rarely or never visit them.
Do you have a written plan in place for aging? Do your research now. Check into all resources available to you. Consult with various experts. Make a plan. Write it down. Do you have a will? A living will? A durable power of attorney? Do you want to have someone you know appointed to make decisions or do you want to have a court appointed guardian in the event that you are no longer able? It’s a lot to think about, but it is very important that you have something outlined and set up.
Excellent advice.
ReplyDeleteI'm my mother's caregiver & though she lives alone she rarely leaves her home.. Thankfully she made POA years ago. She'd never sign one now. She's in denial she's old. She's almost 90. I do right by her and would never harm her in any way but it's hard because she inflicted a difficult childhood on us and she hasn't changed. But as an adult I know how to navigate that and draw boundaries which of course as a child I did not know how to do.
For myself I've begun to think about what I want.
Being a caregiver is a lot of hard work, both physically and emotionally. I applaud you Margaret for being their to take care of your mom and loving her in spite of herself.
DeleteIt is sickening that people take advantage of anyone, especially the elderly. My mother worked in a nursing home for 17 years, and she had many horror stories of mom or dad being dumped as the family member drove off. Your post contains some very good advice. My husband and I purchased long-term care insurance several years ago. While it won't cover all the expenses, it gives us peace of mind.
ReplyDeleteThanks for keeping your blog posts interesting, varied and informative.
KayH
Thank you Kay. I'm glad you like my posts. It warms my heart.
DeleteI've cared for 2 parents and then worked on estates when they passed, and unfortunately I can say that I'm no longer shocked by what people (including, like you said, family members) will do in these situations. It can be horrendous. Thank you for talking about this and encouraging all of us to make plans before the plans need to be enacted. It's so important and can make such a difference.
ReplyDeleteI couldn't agree more Brooke.
DeleteThe care of the elderly or should I say lack of it in this country is truly sad. I worked in a nursing home for several years. It was truly heartbreaking to see the number of patients who had family but none came to visit them. They were just discarded there and forgotten. As you said, it is very important to have a plan for yourself as you age. My husband and I have all the necessary documents you mentioned but I need to update the will to include our pets. This is something most people don't think about but what would happen to them if you passed away? As with the elderly, you can't always depend on family to take care of your pets either. Thank you for another informative and thought provoking post!
ReplyDeleteAngela
You bring up a really good point about our animals. A lot to think about and plan ahead for.
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