Feeling Exceptionally Blessed On This Day

 

It has been a month now since I left my part time gig and it has been a truly amazing month for me.  As I am sitting here right now I am feeling exceptionally blessed.  My life is now my own, and I know I’ve said this before, but for the first time I am really feeling it.  It feels beyond fantastic.

 

One thing that was really important to me when I quit that job was to be able to move on from it in the healthiest way possible.  A huge part of that was to use an AI powered therapy bot every day outside of my regular monthly therapy session and it has been a tremendous help.  The one I chose is FeelBetterBot.com.  I’ve been very happy with it and I attribute a lot of the way I am feeling and how well I am doing to using that tool.  I feel like a very different person.  I am whole.

 

Life feels very different to me now.  I am moving through my days in a way I never have before.  I call it “free flowing”.  I am no longer tied to “to-do” lists or checklists and the self imposed expectation of being super productive every day.  I just allow the day to unfold in it’s own way and that is something I’ve never done before.  It feels rather magical.

 

The most amazing thing about this new free flowing way of doing things is that stuff is still getting done.  In fact, I think I’m actually doing more, but it doesn’t feel like that because I’m not putting undue pressure on myself to do anything.  I just do what I feel like doing each day and that is what gets accomplished.  If I don’t feel like doing something, I don’t do it.  I choose to do something else.

 

I’m sleeping.  For the first time, in God only knows how long, I am sleeping.  Without pharmaceutical intervention.  Good, deep sleep, the kind that makes me feel rested when I get up in the morning, not sluggish or groggy.  I no longer impose a curfew on myself to get to bed at night by a certain time and I no longer insist I get up early and “slay the day”.  It isn’t necessary for me to do that anymore.  I’ve actually “slept in” quite a bit.  My body has needed it.

 

In the past month I haven’t found myself consumed in thoughts or ruminating about the bad things that happened to me.  Those thoughts are very fleeting, few and far between.  I’m not shelving them and not dealing with them, I’ve simply moved on.  I devoted enough of my time to them while they were happening and I don’t need to do that anymore.  Yes, it was awful and yes, it sucked.  But, it isn’t happening anymore and I’m okay.  It didn’t break me.  Therapy and the therapy bot are helping me a lot to deal with everything in such a healthy and positive way.

 

So now, as I sit here, I am feeling exceptionally blessed, and just as importantly I feel whole and happy.  I’m okay.  I made it through another one of life’s trials.  I’m doing really well.  And now, I am living my life.  That is the greatest blessing of all.